Which one am I?

Firstly, I'll let you in on a secret. I know nothing about blogs and only a little about the Internet and all that I do know is because of my young Gen Y friends on Facebook. But I found myself with some time today and a strong desire to connect with other women, who, like myself, find themselves spending the holiday season in an entirely different way to how they thought they would in their thirties.

After saying goodbye to my new love, I am now in limbo waiting for the agreed pick up time to retrieve my children and continue with the annual chirtsmas to new year week of BBQ's, friends, sun and late nights. Are there other people out there feeling like they are 20 years old when they have no children to look after, enjoying wine and friends then retiring into the hunky arms of a new man? Then getting up putting on the 30 year old life of Mother and ex wife, picking up the kids, nodding and "oohing and ahhing" when they tell you how they spent their time away from you, all the while you are reliving the last passionate kiss and carefree moments you have only just stepped away from? Some say motherhood is a juggling act, and it is but motherhood, ex-wifehood, new girlfriend hood, its more of a splintering of your personality. They are all part of you but they are such different facets of you.

I guess I want to know that I'm not alone. I live in a small town. Its difficult to find people that are experiencing or have experienced the same things you have. We are the first generations of women that are living these lives.. openly. So why do I still feel like I should be hiding parts of my life? I want this to be a forum for those parts of women that we feel we can't admit to.. but need to. I don't want to feel ashamed of finding love and indeed the joys of Sex in my thirties, Ti's the season for rejoicing! and I intend to. I want to enjoy my children, my career and my lover everyday.. I just gotta figure out how to do it all together..

P.s I have not posted a photo of myself just yet.. just a photo of the beginning of the rest of my life.. more on that later